enough

is it enough for me to just be? to let go of the need for all the structure - knowing what I'm doing - even in the next month... I need to get a job, but really, what amazing opportunities am I at risk of missing out on, because I'm not taking advantage of today - of the time I have now?
I am not able to control my own way, and I think that is what I'm learning right now. I need to give that up, and not be so focused on my ideas of what my life should look like - or grand ideas of helping the world- making a huge difference for people in poverty or slavery - It is not about me, or any of that really... it is about something even bigger! And a hope. a story of a cross, an old rugged cross... pain, suffering, death - and then resurrection! So whether I'm helping free slaves, or merely researching the issue, and connecting with service providers, my life and actions matter in light of that story.
I think God has something planned - something huge- for my life, but I can't get so wrapped up in it, that I miss the now. I miss the actions and steps I'm supposed to be taking today because I'm trying to figure out next summer, and feeling overwhelmed and scared about the whole thing.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough trouble of its own!"
right. I need to remember that. Worrying doesn't help. I do not want to live in fear - afraid to step out on a limb, just because I don't know all the answers (aka 'limb')... that is not who I want to be.
So, Jesus' story is enough - it must be enough - for I am not able to do anything on my own - it really turns meaningless, and overwhelming.